Why Are Women Acting Like Men?

Since the feminist movement of the 1960’s and 70’s, women have gained a more equal footing in the workplace and society. Although most women will say we still have a long way to go, I urge you to look back to your mothers and grandmothers, and you will see how far we have come as a gender. Go to less developed countries where patriarchy still reigns with misogyny and violence against women. We in the first world have it made. So why do most of us think we need to act like men to get respect?

When we struggled for equal rights, we shouted that we are proud to be women, which we are capable of anything as women, yet the first thing we did was burn our bras and start wearing pants. Throwing away our very essence of femininity. In order to make it in a ‘man’s’ world, we shouted at the top of our lungs that we were women, but took on very masculine traits to prove it.

What happened to being a strong, yet feminine, woman? What happened to empowering ourselves with our womanly gifts to pave our way to the top?

In the workplace, woman are afraid of men treating them like airheads or sexually harassing them if they dress in skirts. But a strong woman wearing a skirt can put a man in his place if need be. An intelligent woman who enjoys wearing high heels to the office can impress others with her intellect if she chooses. Being feminine doesn’t mean being weak, or a target for harassment.

Women have also lost the art of fully embracing our innate femininity in relationships. We don’t really understand the dynamics of masculine and feminine anymore. Masculinity and femininity are complimentary dynamics which together produce innate harmonious balance.

When a woman uses her innate femininity, it instinctively puts men into their roles as masculine beings. If she is scared, men want to protect her. If a man acts extremely masculine and finds his wife ravishing, she will melt into his arms. If she gives him support and encouragement and treats him like her hero, he will automatically put her on a pedestal. We unconsciously fill these natural roles, and there is nothing wrong with this. Even homosexual relationships have a male / female balance. It is what is naturally expressed within us.

You all have heard of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or as I like to say, Men are from Mars, Women are from Heaven!) We are biologically different. We are emotionally different. Men are action, women are reaction. Men think with their head, women with their heart. Why can’t we use those strengths to compliment the other, rather than taking on opposite gender traits to appease the current collective norms of what men and women are in today’s age?

When you act like a woman, men around you will automatically shift into masculinity around you, and vice versa. If a woman is acting like a man, perhaps by acting aggressively with her partner during a dispute, he will treat her like a man, and fight back or withdraw. If a man gets too feminine, a women will respond with sensitivity and comfort – woman to woman. Neither scenario creates the balance and momentum needed to propel the relationship out of problem at hand. But a feminine energy meeting a masculine energy equally in the middle of a situation can bring results that everyone is satisfied with.

I ask women to bring your feminine nature to the table. Stop trying to aggressively fight your way through life. Use your unique gifts such as intuition, insight, and intelligence. And don’t forget the winning smile and your charming demeanor you possess. Put on the heels if it makes you feel gorgeous. Flirt with your partner. Wear more jewelry. Do all you can to feel like an empowered and delightful woman.

But wait, you say “I am a woman and don’t need to wear skirts to feel like it. I can protect myself, and be financially well.” Fantastic I say! Are you accomplishing all of this as a man or as a woman? Because you can accomplish what you want either way. But there is something rewarding and nourishing about embracing the divine feminine. And I hope one day you will be able to – even just a little. Because everyone should feel like a princess sometimes.

Dana Prophet

Dana Prophet

About the Author | Dana Prophet

Dana is a frequent Truthteller. She has many inspiring lessons to share with our community and she teaches us what it means to feel strong, feminine, and empowered.

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10 comments to "Why Are Women Acting Like Men?"

  • Terrie Kemble

    Well written Dana!! I’m so impressed and proud of you! :-)
    It’s been tragic to see women forfeiting their God-given gift…their role as women, graced with the beauty of femininity. For sometime it seems like the ‘girl fight’ trend has increased in momentum, often spurred because of bullying. It seems there’s a mean spiritedness in women today, more then I can remember in years gone by. Don’t get me wrong, there’s always been at times, the ugliness of a cattiness women can emote; but now it seems perhaps they’ve mistaken what being a ‘strong’ woman truly is and reacting in a more physical way, like a man. Man created physically stronger to protect and provide. Women softer, gentler, nurturing and peace makers. Both so much to contribute individually and even stronger when we’re united as a couple.
    I’ve pondered many times myself those aspects of contradiction you’ve mentioned Dana. It seems both genders are in a state of confusion as to what their roles are. How sad to discard God’s plan in creating us unique and dynamic, and when we walk as He designed it’s a thing of beauty and harmony.

    • Jane

      I see myself as a softer more feminine woman. I was crying one day and I was called weak and too sensitive by one so called ‘strong’ woman who doen’t respect her own femininity or mine. I want to be a real woman. I find women who show manish behaviour unattractive and an insult to womanhood. I say this as I’m fed up with being judged as weak by tough women.

  • Thanks for writing this. It means much more coming from a women herself, especial one who obviously still values being such. Many of my latest relationships have failed because these aspects were not being recognized. It saddens me deeply on a daily basis that women no long value being women in the U.S, and have adopted the worst characteristics of the male ego, and often rationalize that with the need and or want to be financially independent.

  • LR

    Masculine women are more likely to be abused in relationships compared to feminine ones because they’re always wanting to be superior to their male partners or spouses.

  • […] we struggled for equal rights, we shouted that we are proud to be women, which we are capable of anything as women, yet the first thing we did was burn our bras and start […]

  • Agnete Thomsen Hernandez

    I’m late to this article but something bothered me about it and I couldn’t let it pass. Here’s the thing. Intuition, softness, insight and intelligence are not a woman’s special gift. Your sex does not determine your intellectual qualities. You assume that all women have “special gifts” that many of us don’t have. I am a mathematical-logical woman, I am emotionally intelligent but in most aspects I’m like a man, even though I am feminine in appearance. I’ve NEVER felt included by the description of “feminine” that focuses on “intuition”. I´m a rationalist and that’s feminine as well. I am not less of a woman or behaving less feminine because I have a preference for directness, determination and rationality. Sometimes women behave “like men” if you like, because that is our natural way to behave. Sometimes we are combative. Sometimes determined. Sometimes dominant. Sometimes not very autocritical. But these may well be completely natural to us as our preferred mode of behaviour AS WOMEN. We may be the oldest sibling in a family of only daughters for example. You should be careful when you extend your idea of a behaviour that is natural to you in your understanding of your own femininity to others, or pass judgement on their natural behaviour as being “masculine”. It probably isn’t. It’s just a different behavioural preference from yours. And if you feel judged it probably is because the other person feels as uncomfortable with your way of being as you do with theirs. But it isn’t a “women behaving like men” thing. It’s a “dominant person behaving like dominant person” and disliking what they perceive as “weakness” or as “incapacity to take action” in you.

    We women aren’t made in a mould. We behave as we do because it’s the way that comes naturally to us. Behave by all means as you find natural to you, but don’t pretend it’s a better way per se. A manipulative less direct “softer” “more feminine” approach sometimes works better and sometimes it won’t. Sometimes being dominant, “more aggressive”, masculine is the best way to get the job done, sometimes it isn’t. There isn’t a “RIGHT” way to be a woman any more than there is a “one-size fits all” way to get things done.

  • CR

    I don’t think about ‘acting’ like a woman, I am one. I think about being the best person I can be. I think first and feel second, living requires logic and rational thought which is then tempered by feeling to a certain degree. I am a woman with an ENTJ personality and that means I see/do things from a specific perspective, and everyone has a perspective. What I wear is because I like it and for no other reason, and I don’t worry about what anyone but my husband thinks about it. As long as I am following my God and my husband and I are in agreement, what anyone else thinks is immaterial. I don’t deserve respect because I’m a woman, I deserve basic respect because I’m a human person. Anything more than that, I must earn through my action. A good portion of the problems today are caused because people believe their expectations of others are the truth.

  • Cleo

    Have you ever watched Mad Men?

  • Clare

    I am a woman who naturally thinks with my head and ‘leads’, it’s who I am.

    Surely it would be inauthentic for me to pretend to be more ‘feminine’?

    I know some men who are certain they are male in terms of gender, who think with their hearts.

    Surely this is just a generalisation, and so not true for a significant number of people?