I Am Going to Fail Trying to Be the Best

When the Universe tries to tell me something, I eventually listen. I am a stubborn human being and will repress the negative thoughts, but if they continue coming back, I begin to understand that they are worth giving some attention. The difficult part is to stop and listen. With a hectic lifestyle, busy work schedule, and tasks piling up at home, I barely ever have the time to listen to my own thoughts.

I have exercised this so many times before and succeeded so often. Yet I still fall down the rabbit hole occasionally. And I have done it again. I let the natural instincts for pleasing others take over my life. Others including everyone and everything I care about—everyone except for myself.

I have been trying to be the best mum for Leon, nurturing him and getting up at night if he is unwell.

I have been trying to be the best wife, supporting my husband, sharing the load of housework and trying to squeeze in quality time for the two of us.

I have been trying to be the best at my job, which I really enjoy.

I have been trying to be the best daughter to my mum, who is also such a good friend to me.

I have been trying to be the best daughter to my dad, who has had serious health issues recently.

I have been trying to be a good sister and granddaughter.

I have tried being a good and reliable friend.

I have also tried looking after my wellbeing.

I have tried going to the gym.

I have tried occasionally writing.

I have tried visiting a hairdresser.

I have tried but failed on many occasions.

(I have just not really tried being a good caregiver to my cat, as she is annoying.)

With all external needs and musts, I have no energy and time left to try caring for myself. And it feels so disappointing to hear from myself, as I have gone down this road before and resolved it.

The Universe tells me to take a deep breath, step back, and take time to listen to myself again.

I have gone forward in my career, but I took a step back in my personal journey. I recognize it. I forgive myself, but I won’t listen to excuses. I need to commit to taking action.

Am I convinced yet? I’ve heard many wise words this week, and I don’t think I need to think about this anymore.

After trying to be the best at everything, I know I am going to fail. Therefore, I am changing my goal: I am going to treat my time as if it has monetary value, and I need to take full control of it before I am bankrupt. There will be little value from my time if I have nothing to offer.

So I will be busy using every spare moment on banking more time currency, increasing my own value. Watch this space!

Biola Wyrwas

About the Author | Biola Wyrwas

I am an economist, marketer, and an actress - but most of all - a young, married woman who believes that we can all be and do anything that makes us happy! I have a BA in economics, politics, and law, and an MA in international relations from DCU. I am working in a busy corporate world while also pursuing my passion for acting. I have also created a blog called “World is You Today,” to help other women to gain confidence and feel empowered. If I can do it, we can all do it!

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4 comments to "I Am Going to Fail Trying to Be the Best"

  • Mariam

    This is the best thing I have read today, and I have to start working on increasing my own values, order than listening to the world, I have to listen to myself and take it a step at a time. Thank you for this Biola

    • Biola

      I am so happy to hear that the words appealed to you. You are an amazing woman, do not lose your spirit by forgetting about what is important for you. Take the time to listen. I need to remind myself too ❤️

  • Domo

    Well done! We are proud of you!