You Can’t Feel Bad and Good in the Same Moment (and You Get To Choose)

Sometimes it feels just too plain simple for me. And sometimes it makes sense and works.

Well, actually, it always works—when I actually do it.

I can’t feel good and bad in the same moment. I can only have one feeling coursing through me at a time.

And I get to choose.

Even though sometimes it feels like I have no choice, I get to choose. Even though sometimes the bad feelings are overwhelming and ceaselessly flood my senses and my brain, I get to choose. Even though I may know how justified my anger or fear or sadness or frustration or whatever is, I still get to choose.

It’s actually somewhat annoying. Empowering. Freeing. But annoying.

I get to choose if I stay with the feelings that don’t feel good or if I find something that feels better to think about. I get to choose if I focus on how that person let me down, how that situation is not working out or is downright WRONG, or if I find something that feels better to think about. I get to choose if I notice what’s not working, what’s not happening, what I’m not doing or achieving, or if I find something that feels better to think about.

Are you noticing the pattern here?

There’s a saying I’ve heard for years: “Would you rather be right or happy?” I’m happy to say that while sometimes I’ll still fight to be right, more often I am choosing happy. More often I’m letting go, soothing myself, and finding something that feels better to think about.

As I sit here on my side porch (I love my side porch!) on a late Saturday afternoon, I can be irritated that I have work to do (if you call writing this blog post and my newsletter and my social media “work”), or I can notice the gorgeous flowers in the hanging basket and the breeze on my skin. I can remember my incredible yoga class this morning and my incredible massage this afternoon. (It has not been a bad day.) I can look forward to the family time I’ll have tonight.

I get to choose.

I get to choose what I think about. I get to choose what I notice. I get to choose where I focus. I get to choose if I spend my time and mental (and emotional) energy on something that feels bad or if I spend my time and mental (and emotional) energy on something that feels good.

I get to choose.

Previously published here.
Lisa Kohn

About the Author | Lisa Kohn

Lisa Kohn is the author of a memoir, To the Moon and Back, due out September 18, 2018, that chronicles her childhood – growing up in the East Village of New York City in the 1970s and in the Unification Church (the Moonies). Lisa writes of her recovery from the emotional abuse and abandonment she faced, and her now life of hope as a thriving and happy mom, wife, and leadership consultant and coach. You can read more at her website, www.lisakohnwrites.com, where you can also download the first chapter of her book.

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