“I don’t care if you’re my flesh and blood. I hate everything you stand for.”
“I need our relationship to go to the next level.”
If only it were as simple as just spitting it out.
But in reality, some conversations just really, really suck to have.
Because you don’t want to be hurtful.
You don’t want to be cruel.
And you really, really don’t want to be rejected.
Of course, you also don’t want it to spiral into blame, yelling,
crying, threats, awkward silence, or the horribly final,
“Well, I guess that’s it, then. Have a nice life.”
Because relationships matter.
We don’t simply want to have our say; we want to actually feel heard. We want reconciliation. We want to feel a deep connection with those we love—and a sense of understanding and mutual respect with those we don’t see eye to eye with.
Hard conversations can be graceful. Generous. Honest. Giving. Effective. Beautifully direct.
That’s why we’ve created this toolkit, which you can call on whenever it’s time to face the conflict head on.
Because mature adulting requires hard conversations.
Hard Conversations Toolkit
How to Navigate Those Tricky “Can We Talk” Moments
Soon, you’ll be able to:
- Dive right in without hemming and hawing or waiting for “just the right moment.”
- Make the other person feel invited rather than confronted. (No more, “Uh-oh. Where’s this going?”)
- Ask yourself the exact right questions beforehand, so you’re clear and beautifully-expressed (instead of reckless or tongue-tied).
- Pause and think without squirming or compulsively filling the dead air with things you didn’t mean to say.
- Make the whole talk feel like a win-win.
- Wrap it up cleanly, even if you don’t come to an agreement.
- Be such a master that you never dread or avoid a hard conversation again.
Here’s what you’ll get instantly
Hard Conversations Interactive and Printable Workbook
- How to start: Learn to turn “We have to talk” from a big “Uh-oh” to a gracious invitation.
- Info on navigating the three “phases” of a hard conversation: before, during and after.
- Reflection questions to “grade” your conversations as you practice, and make each next one better.
- At-a-glance quick tips that’ll be little lifesavers each time you thumb through and use them.
- “Shouldn’t I just let bygones be bygones?” “What’s the point when they’re just going to get offended?” “How do I get through to someone who never listens?”…And other burning FAQs—with our answers.
Hard Conversations Audio Empowerments
- Prepping your conversation: Kelly reminds you what to focus on and bolsters your confidence to go ahead and do this thing.
- Right before: This is the “you got this” pep talk you need to go for it and stay on track.
- After: You did it! Kelly helps you check in with yourself and keep that conversation muscle limber and ready to go again.
here’s what people are saying
I would recommend the Hard Conversations Toolkit to anyone who struggles with effective communication or confrontation. Since completing the toolkit, my tough conversations are more rational and pragmatic—instead of emotional, all over the place, and drawn out. The nine pointers in the toolkit for an effective and complete conversation are a great help when it comes to staying on track. Hard conversations are still hard, but I feel more prepared and satisfied at the end of them, now that I have the knowledge that the Hard Conversations Toolkit provides.
How long have you been letting
that hard conversation eat at you?
What if you could just get these tricky talks out of the way and breathe
a sigh of “that went better than I thought it would” relief?
What if you could get insanely good at saying what you need to say, every time? Without putting it off.
Never again hold it in till you’re bursting with blame and resentment.
Say goodbye to shit-storms of passive-aggressive finger-pointing, or explosive anger and accusations.
You’re about to find out what life is like when you don’t sit on resentment, nurse grudges,
or let confrontations go off the rails.
(Spoiler: It’s amazing.)