They Lied To Us. What Is the Truth about Eve?

They lied to us. They told us that Eve was a sinner. That she had, in fact, brought sin into the world. They said that she disobeyed God and ruined paradise for everyone, especially men. They said that she was dangerous and could not be trusted. For this, she needed to be silenced and deserved to be punished. They wrote it down in the Bible and said it was the word of God.

Then, we were born: girls. And somehow, each of us in our own way, was blamed and considered poisonous, so they didn’t let us lead or vote for leaders. They preferred us to be pretty and pretty silent. But we were making progress! We were gaining ground!

That is when we awoke to the catastrophe of the lie. On November 8, 2016, the United States elected a president who was a misogynist and liar. How? It had been 2,463 years from the time the Bible was canonized with the myth of Eve until that day. But it was as if no time had passed. The lie was that pervasive, that penetrating—that contaminating.

You see, it was never about the apple. It is about what came after: the epic blaming and shaming of Eve and every woman.

Six years ago, I felt like Eve. I fell from Paradise. Hard. I was literally down on my knees. If you were looking for Rabbi Kolton in July of 2012, you would find her in a state of torrential grief, maybe on the bathroom floor. My life as a rabbi and a Jew ruptured. It wasn’t pretty. “I just wish you had left the temple with your dignity,” said my mom. Yeah, me too. But grace was not available to me then, just like it wasn’t for Eve. We never fall into Grace. No. First, we hit the pavement.

I was then the senior rabbi of a temple near Detroit, Michigan. I grew up in this congregation, which was quite unusual because it was an atheistic temple. As a teenager, the temple gave me precious emotional sanctuary from all the drama of my parents’ marriage and through the years of their divorce. The temple was the only place where I felt at home. But once I turned 40 and I was senior rabbi of that very temple, a deep sense of longing for something else, something more, began to haunt me. I tried to ignore these feelings, but the Universe had a different plan. One July, the Universe kicked my ass and I collided with the temple board of directors in a totally crazy battle of wills, which led me to resign.

I lost my income, my pulpit, and my community. The only place in my life that had felt like Eden was now literally locked behind me. Worst of all, I felt so ashamed. But something kept telling me, “It’s worth it. Keep going. There is so much more!”

But more of what?

I came to understand the force that was compelling me forward more as a feeling than a being. The feeling was definitely feminine in nature and was attached to a strong story—our first, most known: the Biblical myth of a woman named Eve.

In Genesis, God admonishes Eve: “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor, you will give birth to your children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

I could feel Eve’s energy pulsing through me, protesting, “It isn’t right! What you know about me isn’t right! I am so much more. Women deserve the truth!”

They lied to us. They wrote our story, and it was cruel. They stripped our identities and thought that we would vanish without a trace. They counted on us living like ghosts—voiceless and weightless vestiges of a once most-determined breed. But in this great era of #MeToo and Women for One, we are waking up!

Who really is Eve?

Eve is a badass. Far from being a sinner, she brought spiritual bravery into the world. Eve had the capacity and audacity to follow her truth.

Eve is the connective tissue from the patriarchal world, which took hold approximately 3,000 years ago among women-oriented societies that had existed in peace for thousands and thousands of years.

Eve is a living field of Cosmic Mother Energy that is the missing spiritual home that so many women are seeking.

For 3,000 years, feminine power has been constricted, shut down, burned, slayed, hung on the gallows, covered up, and exploited. The time has come to recover from this history. Like the phoenix, together we are rising out of the flames of history to finally, finally, become the free, brave birds that we were always each meant to be!

Rabbi Tamara Kolton

About the Author | Rabbi Tamara Kolton

Rabbi Tamara Kolton is a prominent rabbi, psychologist, feminist, and mom. She was the first person ordained a Humanistic rabbi, an achievement recognized by the New York Times. She has conducted hundreds of wedding and funerals, walking with people on the very best and worst days of their lives. Six years ago, she resigned her pulpit and set out on a brave (even badass) quest to find the Feminine Divine.

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49 comments to "They Lied To Us. What Is the Truth about Eve?"

  • Barby

    We loved you and followed you to Shir Tikvaj, but when you left we did not know! I only wish you could have opened up to us and let us inside! Instead I felt you withdrew and we just didn’t try enough!
    Have never walked into Birmingham Temple for anything as it cast a shadow on our lives and Ethan felt he couldn’t attend a bar mitzvah there!
    We are grateful for your support and teaching of our two wonderful grandsons as you were perfect for them!
    Our love 💗 and hope that 2019 is good for you and yours!!

    • Tamara Kolton

      I always felt your love and support. Thank you!!! It’s been an ever unfolding journey to know my truth about God in the Feminine and Divine energy and speak it.

      I am so grateful for all that our families have shared. Life is a BIG journey that requires bravery and spirirutual agility!

  • Suzanne M. Harmony

    This is beautifully expressed and powerfully presented. Thank you for being YOU and embracing your truth. Congratulations! I wish you outstanding success as you move forward fearlessly; always Divinely supported.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Suzanne,

      Thank you! I feel your encouragement and it powers me onward! Fearlessly- yes, to live with less and less fear and more and more Joy! 

      💜Tamara

  • Cindy

    Wow my heart was pounding as I read this amazing article.
    We need more women like her.
    She should run for president!!!!

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Suzanne,

      Thank you! I feel your encouragement and it powers me onward! Fearlessly- yes, to live with less and less fear and more and more Joy! 

      💜Tamara

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Your heart was pounding! That’s a sign that the energy of Eve is finding you and IGNITING you! That’s what she does!

      You are being called!

      Love that,
      Tamara

  • Anita Schwartz

    Rabbi T , that was beautiful, you have always been your own person from when you were a young girl, young woman and now beyond .. I’m so glad to be connected with you again.
    Blessings and love to you🧚‍♀️❤️

  • Wendy

    What a brave, bold and timely statement – ideas here that are very important for women (and men) to consider as we start a new year that is sure to be influential and divisive. Will try to hold on to my Eve energy and bring “spiritual bravery” into my 2019 battles…thank you, Rabbi Kolton.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Wendy,

      You have always shown the way to living with brave truth. And… laughing all the way as life does what life is going to do!

      You are a role model for me as I deeply admire and appreciate you.

      Tamara 💖

  • Lior

    This is a fascinating read. My perspective on the spiritual context of Adam and Eve was challenged, but bolstered from this article. I look forward to reading what comes next from you, Rabbi Kolton.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      You represent a new generation of men who are proud feminists!

      I’m so lucky to be your mom! 💜💜💜

  • Ilene Techner

    WOW
    I have chills reading this
    You REALLY are a badass
    And your writing encourages all of us the be badasses too!!

  • Isaac

    I appreciate how honest your are with how your past has shaped your current understanding to the Feminine Devine. This article helped restructure my understanding of Eve as a positive figure rather than the scripted paradise sinner. I look forward to reading what comes next!

  • David Techner

    I have been honored to have had a front row seat to your transformation from Senior Rabbi to a survivor and thriver as you have continued to shape lives in your role as a non-congregational Rabbi, a PHD psychologist, and a person that I can always count on to help a family in need of your talent. Your exit from your Senior Role was, and is, the “gift” that keeps on giving, to you and the general community, as difficult as it may have been to imagine as it was happening in real time.

    I am proud to have watched the road you have traveled and look forward to your continued growth as a Rabbi, a wife, a mother, daughter and friend. Thanks for all you have done to help the people in need to move forward blessed with your continued support.

    Eve would be proud!!

    David Techner

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      When I was at my lowest point, you were there to help lift me up. I learned so much from you. Who knew that a man in a suit would become my dearest, trusted friend?! You are an ally for me and for all women rising!

      Love,
      Tamara 💜

  • David Techner

    I have been honored to have had a front row seat to your transformation from Senior Rabbi to a survivor and thriver as you have continued to shape lives in your role as a non-congregational Rabbi, a PHD psychologist, and a person that I can always count on to help a family in need of your talent. Your exit from your Senior Role was, and is, the “gift” that keeps on giving, to you and the general community, as difficult as it may have been to imagine as it was happening in real time.

    I am proud to have watched the road you have traveled and look forward to your continued growth as a Rabbi, a wife, a mother, daughter and friend. Thanks for all you done to those who have been impacted by your wise counsel.

    Eve would be proud!!

    David Techner

  • Jason F

    Moving and well written!

  • Becky

    This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom , bravery, acts of service, and heart work.

  • Haviva

    Dear Tamara, Your phenomenally honest, brave and empowering voice unveils the feminine divine in a new refreshing perspective that challenges all status quo. I Love it! Seeing Eve through compassionate eyes allows us to forgive ourselves for doubting our own goodness and worth as we practice daily to move beyond fear and step instead into the beautiful grace we deserve. You and Eve are great role models!

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Thank you for such a thoughtful and loving response!

      As we see Eve through compassionate eyes, so we see ourselves. What a relief!

      I think we are meant to see everything through the lens of love. As we do this, we return to our natural Divine state.

      Love,
      Tamara 💜

  • Jack Lessenberry

    I know more than most that what does not kill us makes us stronger. I admired you then. I admire you more now. You are incredibly strong, feminine … and classy

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Your words mean so much to me as I so greatly respect you!

      Yes, it can be brutal out there but the people who come through during our most vulnerable, messy times become our most trusted, sincere friends. It’s quite a sorting process! 

      Love,
      Tamara💜

  • Laura Berman

    Reading this first thing in the morning is quite the way to wake up! I admired the raw honesty and passion of this piece and hope it’s only the beginning of a longer story.

    • Tamara Kolton

      You get up early! Yes- this is all about AWAKENING an ancient truth. Thank you for taking the time to write in and share the wake-up!

      Love,
      Tamara 💜

  • Laura Berman

    Reading this first thing in the morning is quite the way to wake up! I admired the raw honesty and passion of this piece and hope it’s only the beginning of a longer story

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      I love that you “woke” reading this! We are awakening as a collective. It is the most extraordinary time to be a woman!

      With Love,
      Tamara 💜

  • Anita Green

    Incredibly stimulating and timely..

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Thank you! You, my mother, are my first great love. I watched you go from fear to bravery as you emancipated yourself from insecurity and pain. Thank you for showing me how very possible it is to grow into Joy🦋

      Love,
      Tamara 💖

  • Doren Weinstein

    Thank you Rabbi Kolton. These words ring true to any women, which includes myself that has felt less than. What really resonated the most with me is your connection with the Universe pulling you. When you tried to push it down, the Universe took action. So many of us have these stories and what comes out of mess is something strong, bright and fearless.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Yes! That’s it! I feel that our deepest yearning is our signal. Then, we have to act. If we don’t, the Universe will disrupt us to get our attention. The Universe got my attention!
      Thank you for reading the story and reflecting on it! 

      💜Tamara

  • Jenna

    Rabbi, this was such an interesting way to think. It really opened my mind and made me think! Can’t wait to read more I’m so inspired!

  • Debra Calfin

    This story reminds us of the power of women. Important reminder for all our lives today. Thank you Rabbi Kolton.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Yes! Woman are returning to claim their power and their mythology. Eve energy is a real force and it is inside us and all around us!

      Thank you!
      Tamara 💜

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Yes! We are learning how to read the story in an empowering vs disempowering way! And… in doing so, we are actually re-storying (restoring) the world!

      Love
      Tamara 💜

  • Max

    Very different from what I usually read, but very enjoyable and eager to see more!

  • Gilda Jacobs

    I was so moved as I read this. I appreciate your honesty, bravery for sharing and bravery for building a new life while not giving up who your are. You are a shining beacon of light for others. We never know what each day will bring us, and it is only through personal fortitude that we can grow, survive and thrive. Thank you for helping me see Eve through a different lens.

    • Rabbi Tamara Kolton

      Gilda,

      I am so deeply honored to read your comments. You have dedicated your career to making the world a better place. You embody Eve Energy as you show us what it means to stand your ground and live with Grace. You model feminine power and leadership.

      I’m so lucky to know you and learn from you.

      With Love,
      Tamara 💜

  • Lisa Hutnik

    So fascinating and well written on so many levels- from a community and religious perspective to a political perspective to a deeply personal one. Well done Tamara!

  • Sandy Cohen

    I loved how you communicated these thoughts with honesty and conviction! Well done!