Change the Script: Stop Looking to Others and Look to Your Self

Take charge of your own life and be self-reliant.

At large, it seems humans look to others and invest in others as the experts and that we need them in order to think, grow, and be well. There are, of course, times to seek outside support, and I do so my self, but not at the expense of becoming codependent or addicted to finding the next “quick fix” or person (or search engine result) to solve all of your problems.

Seminar after class after retreat after [insert new fad] are attended in the hopes that someone will give us the missing key to diminish the things we struggle with and reveal the hidden secrets of success, well-being, or awakening. And sometimes this seems to work, but the true test is if you can stand on your own two feet and hit the ground running with what was revealed to you, without relying on the same amount of support thereafter.

  • If you’re still harping on about the same stories while keeping up the same limiting habits and patterns, then something isn’t quite working.
  • If you continuously find your self at the next promising person’s doorstep to grasp at more straws, then something isn’t quite working.
  • If you’re still ruminating over the same draining thoughts or making the same mistakes over and over, then something isn’t quite working.
  • If you find yourself burnt out from working to the max or never taking a break to check in with your sincerest needs, then something isn’t quite working.

We improve by sharing ideas and perspectives and learning from our wise ones—it’s how individuals and civilizations have evolved—but the ideal situation is to:

  • Receive support that strengthens your own voice and instinct
  • Learn and develop the necessary skills that you need
  • Apply them consistently
  • And then gradually wean your self from support

If someone or some organization isn’t enabling or encouraging you to be fully independent of them or their group, then get out of there. You’ll live your entire life as though you cannot think or make moves on your own. And you most certainly can.

But it’s not easy, and there are no short cuts.

No matter what level you are at or who your chosen mentor/teacher might be, you are the one who needs to continuously challenge your self daily to be or do what you envision. Learn some tips and tools, and then fly on your own for a while with them. See what it feels like. It might be that you feel shaky at first, but that’s only the beginning. Keep at it and make the decision to appreciate the amount of times you get back up after stumbling. It will eventually strengthen your perseverance and provide the confidence needed to Change the Script, on your own terms.

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.”
— Marilyn Vos Savant

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Through self-reliance, an introspective endeavor was born.

As a result of personal exploration and observing the human behavior above, a valuable message and reminder came to mind that was worth being shared:

Regularly practice self-reflection for self-discovery. In other words, more inward-looking and less outward.

We are each gifted with a number of skills and traits, yet how many people go through their entire existence unaware of what they are truly capable of being or doing, or how they can bring it to life? Even those with many successful endeavors can find themselves feeling out of touch with what really nourishes them or perhaps are unsure of how to challenge themselves further. Ultimately, what possibilities lie deep underneath the masks and layers we wear? The answer is inward.

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So with the message above in mind, the idea of providing folks with a practical and sustainable opportunity where they could safely engage in deeper self-regard and self-discovery surfaced, and the Change the Script Workshop was created.

As a participant, one is:

  • Viewed as the expert of their life
  • Given practical support and tools to self-reflect and reveal their own answers
  • Able to learn more of who they really are and what they really want at their core
  • Identifying their values, priorities, stories, beliefs, habits, patterns, and perspectives
  • Encouraged to apply the insights they gain so they can Change the Script and allow their next stage of personal evolution to unfold

If we’re always looking to others, we’re never really checking in with our own self for guidance. And as far as I can tell, the purest self that dwells within each of us is the truest of sages. So self-inquiry and introspection is at the heart of this work, so folks can build more trust in their inner knowing and develop a resourcefulness that can be called upon anywhere, anytime.

As the host, I facilitate thought-provoking questions and discussions to illustrate the connection between how we think and conduct ourselves and our well-being (or lack thereof). This kind of approach is what initially nourishes the internal “seeds” one has so they may sprout and create a potentially transformative inward shift in that person. But, like a gardener, it all comes down to putting in the daily individual work to further nourish our sprouts for maximum growth.

Bottom line: Many people don’t set aside the time on their own to really regard themselves and their inner world in a way that fosters an intimate relationship with their fundamental nature. The kind of relationship that makes it so their actions and behaviors are a direct reflection of the mysterious force within.

This women’s workshop is a chance for someone to take responsibility into their own hands and reminds them of the value of self-reflection and self-care in all facets and stages of life.  Click to learn more about how you can Change the Script and revitalize: www.inwardshiftcoaching.com/event-info/change-the-script-womens-workshop

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KB

About the Author | KB

KB is a personalized coach and yoga student. Inspirations include explorers, those determined to break through internal barriers and stereotypes, and those who embrace nature. Each contribute to her sessions and day-to-day through a willingness to investigate, challenge perceived limits, and understand our relationship with the cosmos. She is currently holding a Change the Script workshop in NYC to highlight the connection between self-reflection, reconstruction, and well-being.

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