My Secret

 

It has been almost 6 years since I terminated my first baby. I was not too young to have a baby. But I was asked to do it and I did. Of course, I thought, thought and thought. I went to the hospital but emotionally I was not right. I left, but had to go back again and I did. I had a choice to keep my baby, but I didn’t. I believed and told my baby – it is my fault. I’m sorry but I can’t have you this time. Your dad has his own family and said he didn’t want you. I am so sorry. I am so bad. Next time, I will have you and it will be a happy situation. Now, I again cry. I had in my mind somewhere this might be the first and last baby in this my life? I have no man and no children yet. Should I have kept my baby?! Even though I was told you would destroy his life? I know it was not only protecting his situation but I escaped the situation to keep my baby too. I have grown up by myself. Speaking about my situation, I definitely was not ready. I didn’t want to be in my country but no other country’s residency was stable. Now, yes – I have found the place I want to live forever apart from my home country. I don’t know. I don’t know why “now” I kind of feel regret? Or what? I definitely want a baby with a happy situation and no opposition at all. But when I can?!?!?

 

 

About the Author | Anonymous

Many Wf1 Truthtellers choose to tell their stories without their names attached. Some are stepping out with their truths for the scary first time. Some stories involve other people who need to be respected. In any case, we support and admire the courage it takes to share and connect with our Women For One community, anonymously or otherwise.

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