Forget Work/Life Balance—Try this Feminine Super Power Instead
There is a reason we find it so hard to “find balance” or “create work/ life balance.” We are smart women, yet no matter how much sleep we get, or how many productivity strategies we implement or weekly yoga classes we take, we have not solved the elusive search for balance that has plagued women at least 50 years and likely longer.
And it’s not our fault.
Work/life balance as an equation for success is a faulty equation. It doesn’t have the power to solve the stress, tension, and overwhelm we feel and face as women who have been told we can do and have it all. Which is why none of us individually can solve for it in our lives.
Like any construct that only has two parts, work/life balance as a measure or a goal creates what is called a “duality reality.” And it’s a losing equation.
In duality realities (think of the Democrat/Republican political system), the two forces constantly pull at each other like a tug of war—which is why when it comes to balancing work and life, you often feel stuck in an internal tug of war. Work is pulling at life. Life is pulling at work. And you get caught in the middle.
Just look at this as an equation for a moment:
- work over life
- work divided by life
This equation suggests there are only two parts of us: work and life. So if it’s not work, is everything else supposed to fit under the category of life? No wonder we feel like we don’t have enough time or space; we are trying to stuff everything we care about in one lump sum within 50% of an equation.
Now, here is where Feminine Wisdom can elevate the equation and open the possibility for new models and systems.
Wisdom Byte: When you keep running the same faulty equation as a model of success or living, you will keep coming up with the same problems.
In this case, feeling overwhelmed, stretched, and burned out. No matter how many green drinks or hours of sleep we get, we can’t break the patterns of burnout and overwhelm.
This is because we are trying to work and live within systems (work, education, healthcare, family, etc.) that were not created for human harmony but were designed to maximize what could be extracted from human potential and effort.
Just take that in for a moment. Think of the Industrial Revolution, which created education systems that pumped out people to make stuff. Or the market system, which led to the corporate and financial systems, which at the time were concerned almost solely with how to grow, be powerful, be bigger, and have more. Sustainability and wellness were not part of the equation that designed those systems. It’s the same with most of the systems that created our modern-day world.
Which means that it’s not your fault you can’t find balance. Not only is it impossible within these systems—it’s not the way your human system and life function.
Life isn’t lived on a balance beam (that would be so stressful).
I don’t want to spin plates or juggle balls to keep things balanced.
And nothing in this world can be perfectly balanced 50/50 all the time.
As women, we live dynamic lives that are not searching for balance, but seeking to come into harmony.
Which means we need dynamic systems and ways of living, working, and creating that support the WHOLE person, not ones that cut us in half.
So today, I am not here to give you a laundry list of the ten things you need to do to take care of yourself. You don’t need more information on the what to do.
If we truly want to create systems that support all parts of us, and support humanity to operate at its highest potential—not just for profit and for power over others but so all people and beings can thrive—then we need transformation. We need to change and elevate the equations.
Now, here’s where it gets good! It can feel totally overwhelming if you focus this transformation on having to change these big systems: work, education, healthcare, daycare, etc. Where do you even start? Not to mention, we are all already stretched and stressed out just dealing with the lives we have. And now Christine wants us to rally and change the world?
Well, yes, I do invite us to rally as women who together take a stand to say, “We are done with this way of living and working—we aren’t doing it anymore, and the systems have to change.”
And where we start is with the equations we are running in our own lives. We each have an internal operating system that drives our beliefs, choices, thoughts, emotions. The work/life balance program has taken us as far as it can. It’s time for an operating system upgrade!
So what is the new equation?
I call it the Feminine Super Power of Harmony.
The Feminine Super Power of Harmony: “The ability to create a rhythm to your life—your days, weeks, months, and years—that supports and sustains you and allows you to be graceful, powerful, and flexible in how you interact with, lead, and respond to all parts of your life. Your life is like an orchestra. Each part is like a section of your orchestra. You are the conductor, and the Divine is the inspiration, energy, and tune that plays through you.”
Just consider that for a moment. What if, instead of balancing your life, stretching yourself like an octopus, or performing circus tricks like a juggler or plate spinner, you were the conductor of your life?
And just like a conductor, you are aware of all of the parts of your orchestra (family, work, health, wealth, marriage, home, etc.), but you don’t try to play them all at the same time, at the same intensity, as loud as you can.
You have the wisdom and the presence to know what needs attention, and you have the inner balance to focus on those parts, letting the others play in the background, until it’s time for the music to shift.
The equation: Harmony = Focus + Fluidity = FLOW
Which would look something like this in your day-to-day life:
- FOCUS on the parts calling for and in alignment for attention now—and let the others go to a different time and space, or fade into the background, giving them less energy, time, and resources.
- Cultivate both the Intuitive Wisdom and Centered Presence to be FLUID—allowing yourself to be informed by the situation and your higher guidance, and making choices from an elevated vision and leadership.
- FLOWING through your life in HARMONY at different paces and rhythms—sometimes your life will feel like staccato—fast. Other times lyrical—lots of space. And sometimes just a good tune—maintaining flow.
No plates. No balls. Spacious. Strong. Centered. Calm. Even when the music gets intense, balanced from the inside, you play the game of life with grace.
I invite you to change your equation. Release the work/life balance equation from your vocabulary and mind. Upgrade your programming to cultivate harmony and practice living this way—because all great conductors practice and have incredible presence.
To explore more on the Feminine Super Power of Harmony, tune in to the special Feminine Power Time Series: Breaking the Myth of Balance with Christine Arylo, feminine leadership advisor, MBA, best-selling author and speaker, and transformational wisdom teacher at www.FemininePowerTime.com.