When I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember loving my life the way it was, my career as a lawyer, getting full nights of sleep on a regular basis, traveling, going on date nights with my husband (we’ve since separated), spending quality time with friends and family, and having time for myself. I was also very excited about starting a family and now can’t imagine my life without my children.
Initially, I wasn’t sure how to reconcile my life without children with being a parent, especially since I didn’t want to have to skip a beat after I had a baby. I wanted time to enjoy my life as a working mother and I intended for my entire family to get a full night of sleep as soon as possible following delivery!
And then a life changing decision was made for me; I was laid off at the end of my first trimester. After having a few unpleasant interview experiences, I decided to lay low rather than attempting to secure employment. I already knew I would return to work shortly after the birth of my baby so I took the opportunity to focus on my health and the health of my growing baby. I also read as many resources as I could and developed a plan that would help make things as manageable as possible for me during this new, exciting and somewhat stressful, life-changing adventure.
Honestly, from the moment I started thinking about starting a family, I had searched for a prescriptive guide to help answer all of the questions I had about conception, pregnancy, and being a new mother, especially the ones I was too embarrassed to ask my doctor. I looked for answers like the ones my best girlfriends would give if they had gone through the experience themselves. From a medical perspective, I was interested to know the options available to me and my family, including natural methods so that I could combine the best of both worlds.
But I didn’t find a suitable resource, mostly because I found that none of the information I needed was in one place. I was looking for a judgment-free space online where women could go to find the answers to their questions about parenting and health to help make more informed decisions for them and their families. Many women I know do not have the time or desire to read a number of books about pregnancy, childbirth, and babies. I knew the resource I was searching for would help enable women to have the time and energy for the things that are most important to them.
After the birth of my first daughter, simplifying my life as much as possible became a necessity due to my family circumstances. I returned to full-time employment three months after delivery, at which point, my baby was sleeping 10 and 12 hours each night (and had been sleeping eight or more hours each night since she was eight weeks old). I exclusively fed my baby breast milk, which I expressed throughout the day in the privacy of my office. The legal department I was a part of was short two lawyers for the first year after I returned to work, so I was overloaded. Life was also busier because my husband was working full-time while completing an MBA.
I became pregnant with my second child a few years later, about two weeks after my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Since we wanted a second child and didn’t know if we would be able to have one after he finished treatment and surgeries, we figured it was worth a try. After persevering through a number of challenges, I returned to work when my youngest was seven months old and my husband was in good health. My second baby experienced the same feeding and sleep patterns as my first, which I attribute to the Calm Mother feeding and sleep program.
After consistently sleeping through the night when each of my babies was only 12 weeks old, and hearing the success stories of other parents who have used the Calm Mother feeding and sleep program, I am convinced that we can help pave the way for mothers to have it all – stress-, guilt- and judgment-free, while celebrating diversity among women. I am committed to helping change the lives of families for the better by supporting one mother at a time through calmmother.com.
I believe that having it all will be different for everyone and may evolve as time goes on. Based on where I am at in my life currently, “having it all” includes a healthy personal and family life, quality time for myself and loved ones, and a successful career as a lawyer and momprenuer – and always living without regret.