A. T. A.

A. T. A.

Truthteller A.T.A. is a mother of a three-year-old boy who is living in a foreign country and turning every challenge into opportunity. Passionate about handicrafts, she is currently developing a babies' and childrens' clothing brand, gracious hand-knitted garments. She believes nothing happens accidentally, and that what you think today is what your tomorrow will look like.

 
February 26 2016

Don’t Be Stuck In Limbo

A. T. A.

Today, I received my final divorce papers, officially confirmed by the country where I am staying. I am not from the country where I am living now. I was married to a foreigner, and the divorce was practically complete a year ago. That’s how long it took to be terminated by both countries.

I stand up today and admit that 10 years of giving numerous chances to a relationship with daily psychological harm and manipulations was never going to turn into a blossoming marriage anyhow, but could only end in divorce. The decision to separate was made several times during these years. Action was delayed, but finally taken while accepting all accumulated consequences.

The challenges—like parenting or various reactions of relatives and friends, or my own readiness to stay in a foreign country as a single mother—those did not stop me because of the recovered opportunity to restore psychological balance.

Luckily, my ex-husband turned into a responsible partner for our child upbringing, and an intelligent friend. No more daily disputes, distrust, and expostulation that previously impacted our self-esteem and most of all, our child’s feelings.

A year ago, I did not expect, but today I quietly recognize, that none of our previous common friends here asked if I needed any adaptation help after I became a single working mother surrounded by a foreign culture. Moreover, I withstood the indiscreet comments made by people who did not live my life and even did not feel my own anger. I’ve done everything to try to ensure that my son would be raised in a two-parent home, but I finally accepted the truth that this will never happen.

I matured my own power and discovered the positive side of this crash. Only my attitude and inner strength matter today. Now I am free enough to state that this foreign land is becoming more and more comfortable for me, and not because of the fact that it is my child’s birthplace. It has granted me new acquaintances, brings back old friends, allows me to enjoy my hobby and favorite job, and most importantly, does not mute my son’s laugh!

Don’t be stuck in limbo. Trust yourself and be thankful for every free breath given!