A. S.

A. S.

A.S. is a happy, energetic, cheerful girl from a small suburb in India. She believes in women’s empowerment, and that sharing experiences lets us all know that we are not alone and that we can get through any problem. She sends love and blessings to the Women For One community.

 
September 25 2015

It’s All You

A. S.

About three months ago, my life had collapsed around me. I had been in a very serious relationship with a man, and it was beautiful. We had spoken about having a future together and it was everything I’d wished for. But as they say, some things can be too good to be true.

After a while, we hit a really bad patch where things started going from bad to worse. We used to fight all day, every day, and what was supposed to be the best thing in our lives turned out to be the source of all the negative energy. Being the optimist that I am, I was hopeful things would get better. I would rather fight with him every day than not talk at all; I thought that was love. But eventually he got really upset and broke up with me. That’s when the three months I mentioned at the beginning started. I’ll spare you those depressing details; all I can say is that I was affected mentally, emotionally, and physically.

One fine morning, I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t continue living like this. This pain either had to take me somewhere or kill me. Something had to change.

I sat down and really thought about it. I looked at the relationship from a third-person perspective and realized that the break up, as painful as it seemed, was in fact a huge wake up call.

All the reasons why he had had fallen in love with me were not even there anymore. I had taken him for granted, and I vented out all my other frustrations to him without realizing that he was human too, and all that negativity really got to him after a while. If I were to deal with a cranky person like me, I would have liked to be left alone too!

As I realized this, I had tears in my eyes. I had finally realized the power of the secret. the moment I stopped playing the blame game, I felt so powerful and responsible for my own happiness. I regret the precious time I wasted moping and grieving but I felt immense hope.

It has been two weeks since this magical enlightenment, and I’m doing wonderfully. All the energy I invested in over-thinking, and the time I wasted waiting for him to come back, I directed towards and for myself. I spend a good amount of time working on myself; I wear makeup and dress up every time I go out. I meet people that make me feel good about myself. I have stopped talking about my bad experiences, and my faith in God has reached another level.

Now for the best part. While I wasted so much time and effort in attracting him back, now that I’m back to being the best version of myself, I don’t even miss him as much I used to.

I always thought I needed him, but now I’ve realized that I only want him. If he’s the one for me, well and good. He still really means a lot to me. But after the wake up call, I feel so liberated. I’d love life to surprise me with someone new, or maybe just a new him.

This story is for every person like me out there who has experienced a bad relationship. It might seem convenient to blame someone else for what you are going through. Yes, probably they are the reason why you are in your current situation. But how you react to it is what you can control. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s that simple.

You are responsible for all the good in your life. Similarly, take responsibility for the bad, too. And here’s the silver lining, you have the power to change it the moment you decide to.

This is coming from someone who went through hell, but is lounging at the airport right now waiting for her friends, and who is about to travel Europe!

From depression to travel, trust me now?

Do let me know if this helped you. I’d love to know! Much love to all you beautiful women!