Andrea Cairella

Andrea Cairella

Andrea Cairella is a licensed professional clinical counselor and owner of TruePotentialCounseling.com based in Long Beach, California. In her free time, she practices yoga and hosts a radio show called “Relationship Lovecast.” She works with adults and children and specializes in couples issues, trauma, addiction, anxiety, and self-esteem. For more of Andrea’s work, visit www.CreateARelationshipYouLove.com.

 
December 10 2015

4 Simple Ways To Increase Affection And Love In Your Relationship During The Tough Times

Andrea Cairella

Life can be difficult sometimes. It can be filled with stress, pressure, busy schedules, and unrealistic expectations of yourself and others. At times, you might feel like you are barely keeping it together or just scrambling to handle the day-to-day grind to the best of your ability.

When the additional demands of child rearing, your partner’s needs, work, and maintaining a consistent self-care routine leave you feeling stretched, it can be difficult to keep all the balls up in the air. And if prioritizing your partnership begins to fall by the wayside, it can eventually lead to interpersonal conflict, loneliness, sadness, dissatisfaction, and disconnection from one another.

In order to prevent these issues from arising, I wanted to share with you four simple ways you can increase affection and love in your relationship during the tough times, so you and your partner can get back on track and start spreading that loving feeling again.

  1. Get in alignment. The first step is to actually get realigned with what matters most to you. By slowing down and checking in with yourself, you can identify the areas of your life that are most important to you (i.e. family, relationship, career, finances, etc.).  Reflecting on where you are on track and where you are off balance will allow you to modify your current choices and priorities so you can get back in integrity with the life and lifestyle you want to lead.
  2. Make room for play and self-care. I remember when I used to work extensive hours and drive myself too hard; it would often throw me off balance and result in physical tension throughout my body. Although I feared taking a break would slow me down and prevent me from getting to where I wanted to go, what I discovered was that prioritizing play, pleasure, and self-care actually made my life run more smoothly and effectively.  The end result was greater access to inspiration, a shift in my energy and mood, and synchronistic opportunities showing up effortlessly. This allowed me to conserve my energy units so I would have enough on reserve to show greater affection and love to my husband and family.
  3. Get support and focus on sustainability. It is key to get support when you feel overwhelmed and overextended. Asking for help, delegating tasks, and hiring additional support in your personal and professional life can allow you to focus more time on your relationship, your family, and your personal well-being. Thinking about what is going to be sustainable for you in the short-term and long-term will allow you to make choices that will support your lifestyle.
  4. Get creative. Finding creative ways to demonstrate love to your partner can help soften the mood during the tough times. Some ways to increase affection and love in your relationship during the ups and downs of life include: writing a simple love note, doing a kindness gesture, contributing to the household chores without being prompted, giving a passionate kiss, giving a thoughtful gift, preparing a candle-lit bath, or just using a term of endearment to show how much you care.