Amber Agha

Amber Agha

 
August 25 2014

Healing The Wound of Betrayal

Amber Agha

Betrayal. How do we heal the wounds of betrayal? How we convince our heart and mind that it is safe to trust again, to surrender, and to let go?

Betrayal can take many forms: from betrayal of oneself, to someone we love, to those we look up to and respect. Family, friends, lovers, and colleagues can be a part of it, from those close to us all the way to feeling it at the hands of the world.

What has remained a constant for me throughout countless instances of feeling betrayed, is the knowledge that at no time was I betrayed by Mother Father God. At no time was I ever betrayed by Spirit. This is despite feeling like I may have been. In the end I saw that that Love was there for me throughout and was not dependent on anything other me being open to receiving it. And that is the way back from the effects of Betrayal: we ask Spirit to heal us. We ask to fall into the arms of Spirit and of that Endless source of Love. In doing so we wash ourselves free of the pain and resentments of Betrayal.

It also helps to understand that when we feel that we have been betrayed by another, it is very often because that person is unable to offer us what we need or are looking for. They may be unable to be naked in their Truth, or they may lack the skills to be discreet in secrets shared. And what we share with someone is then their property, so this requires a mindfulness of who we share our Souls with.

They may lack the space in their hearts or in themselves to hold the space for someone else. They will most certainly be on their own journey, and this may mean they are in a place where they are unable to be what we need them to be. And this extends to the most heinous of betrayals: abuse of power in any form, whether betrayal of lies told, truth withheld, confidences betrayed. That person is simply unable. Someone once likened this state to us wanting a man in a wheelchair to get up and walk. We are asking the impossible of someone. It is not where they are right now. For all is Change. This does not justify the behaviour. What it asks of us is to see the struggling human in them. We must see that the Soul is on a journey and that above all none of this was personal to us. We did not do something “wrong” for we are all linked and oftentimes the stories of others collide with ours.

The times in my life when I have been betrayed what has hurt the most is that all along I knew. I had received guidance from Spirit, from my inner knowing that this person was not to be trusted, and that this situation was not as it was appearing to be. I knew. And the biggest betrayal was of Self. I refused to listen to that inner knowing for whatever reason. And in fact I did so time and again.

For Spirit shall guide us, should we choose to allow ourselves to get so close to the whisperings of Spirit. Should we look back on events and occasions of betrayal most of the time we shall be able to say we had a feeling, we had a sense, we were not sure…and yet we did not listen.

The biggest healing comes when we forgive ourselves for betraying ourselves in those moments. And from that we see the trail of this pattern. How many times have we betrayed ourselves? How many times have we dishonoured ourselves. Not listening to the small voice that says “I don’t want to do that”, “I don’t feel comfortable with that person”, or “I don’t like how this makes me feel”. How many times have we silenced that voice as being silly, as making a fuss, as being nonsense to be controlled. How many times? And more importantly how long shall we continue doing that?

The time now is to honour what we are feeling and what those feelings are telling us. Yes we do need to be mindful also. Sometimes that voice will be overprotective. At some stage something may have happened to make that part of us now fear or be reticent of all that is out of the comfort zone. And so yes we need a balance of the heart and mind. And in those moments to gain clarity we go to Spirit. We sit in silence, we sit or walk in nature and we pray and ask for Spirit to show us the Truth of a situation. And if still unclear, if still unsure, stillness shall prove effective. For all is movement and all comes to pass in time: all unravels for us to see the whole picture, given time. And we know that what is meant for us shall return, shall remain. We know this. And this will assist us in tempering that drive to push forwards all the time and to control. This shall allow us to have the patience to allow life to equally unfold and to be created.

Betrayal runs in all of us. Our history is steeped with it. And when we have betrayed another then we too shall need to contend with guilt and the seeking of Forgiveness. At the end of each day a good practice is to wipe the slate clean. To go through every event where one may have hurt another and ask forgiveness in prayer from Mother Father God, from Self, and from that person. And of course if it is possible to ask forgiveness straight away from any betrayal one may have been party to. We know when we have betrayed another, and better to ask for forgiveness and start the healing right away than let it fester.

Those who betray, those who reveal confidences, those who let another down, those who abuse positions of power and responsibility, those who conceal the Truth, they are betray the God part of themselves every time. They are silencing that still small voice in them that will also be screaming, “This does not feel right!” If continued for years this part may fall silent, and this gateway to the Divine may close. So they provide the biggest mirror to us as a Whole, of what happens when we stop listening to Guidance. When we stop honouring the Truth of what we become, when we disconnect from the Divine in Us.

And what if one has been betrayed? Then the prayers are to ask for help in forgiving those who have perpetrated this and to ask for the bigger learning to be made clear: to forgive self. And to check in: how does this affect my relationship with Spirit? Am I feeling somehow this is down to Spirit and I feel let down by Spirit? In which case that is a conversation for such it is to have in your quiet times. Your relationship with Spirit, with Mother Father God, with the Great Unseen is what shall hold you strong in times of disappointment in this Earthly Realm and so that is the Union to feed daily so it shall feed you also.

So as we grow to honour our Selves, as we grow to see that we are the reflection of The Great Spirit and so we too are Sacred. Our feelings and intuitions are the God part of us guiding us so then we shall start the process of Self Respect. And in that the next time we have a feeling, an intuition we shall listen, we shall see where that listening takes us. And as Man learns to betray himself less and less he shall be better placed to betray others less.

And so the Union with All deepens. For All is One.

 

Amber Agha